Crawl or Die

From the Mind of a Monster


Monster Presents: No Strings 2 (Playtime In Hell) Preview

What's up, all?! This is a preview of the upcoming flick entitled... No Strings 2 (Playtime In Hell), the next film by indie director Robert Gifford! It stars Max Wasa, Anne Ferrari, Julie Anne, Jacquelyn Velvets, Damien Colletti, Anju McIntyre, Vania Bezerra, and Zoe Vargas. I'm so stoked for this one kids! Stay tuned for more updates!




Monster Presents: Bloodtraffick 

Monster Presents: Bloodtraffick 
Howdy folks! For this one I was privy to see a short film that has been traveling all over the world on the film festival circuit. The short is called Bloodtraffick. It's written and directed by Jennifer Thym, and starring Grace Huang, and Kirt Kishita. Since this is a short film, I won't go too far into the plot line, as it will spoil too much. I will give the brief synopsis given on the trailer. "In a world torn by a war between vampires and angels, a human vigilante on the hunt for her missing sisters is lured into the den of a vampire." Now how's that for suspense? I will say that this film is absolutely beautifully done. The directing style of Jennifer Thym is great, as well as the acting. The sets are amazing and fit the mood of each scene perfectly. This film has won four awards SO FAR since it's release.  
Best Actress, Grace Huang, HollyShorts Film Festival 
Best Short, Salty Horror International Film Festival 
Best Editing, Salty Horror International Film Festival 
Best Cinematography, Salty Horror International Film Festival 
I see there being many many more to come for this amazing piece of work. Below is the trailer, so please check it out and support this film!

Monster Presents: The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) 

Well, well, well...Here we go with the second Human Centipede flick. As everyone knows, I'm a strong supporter of the first film, taking it for it's quality and it not being your typical Torture Porn. I thoroughly loved the first one. Now for the sequel. I don't NOT like it, but this one seems to have been a stretch.
The story is about a "Special" man named Martin who is obsessed with the original film. Obsessed so much that he want's to create a Human Centipede of his own. This film runs and runs and runs, not really going anywhere until about an hour into it. Most of this time is spent him getting his victims. Martin work in a carport in London. He watched the surveillance cameras for victims. This sequence bugs me, as each one of the victims, he shoots in the leg and bashes their head in with a crow bar. This really isn't spoiling anything as this is pretty much lather, rinse, repeat for the first hour. The breaks between capturing his pieces we meet Martin's mother and find out his father is in prison for molesting him as a child. His mother, of course for fucking up a man's life even more, blames Martin for her sweet loving husband being in the clink. Oh well, she get's it in the end... hehehe.
Also as another side bit, Martin continuously receives calls from the agent of one of the stars of the first film, Ashlynn Yennie. She was the second one in the line, if you don't remember. It appears he got in touch with the agent offering an audition for a new Tarantino film. Now I find all of this slightly amusing since Martin never speaks a single word throughout the entire movie. Just grunts and cries a bit.
On to the Centipede bit. Originally there was supposed to be 12 sequences in this particular creation. Well 2 of them didn't survive the initial cuttings. Seems dear old Martin doesn't quite understand arteries. Needless to say, the 10 piece symphony of ass to mouth loving finally happens, in a completely unsterile way (unlike the first film), and they all come to a nasty end. I won't tell you how though! The final 30 minutes did have me crawling out of my skin with a lot of the imagery, but I was pretty much prepared for it. The fun part, is this time around, Ashlynn Yennie is at the head of the big bug!
Oh...did I mention it's all done in Black and White? Not sure if Writer/Director Tom Six was thinking it would be more disturbing this way, or perhaps more artistic? The effects were done quite well. It seemed to be all practical, like the first one, which as you all know I love. I can say that I did enjoy this one, but not nearly as much as the first, although I do like the movie poster for this one quite a bit. I'm interested in seeing what may be next in this franchise, The Human Centipede III (The Final Sequence) due out in 2013. 

Until next time, Monster...



Monster Presents: Full Moon On Set: The Dead Want Women!




Monster Presents: Swamphead

Howdy kids! For my next review, I watched the film Swamphead. I got to watch the VHS version of this and just starting with that, it's brilliant! The cover design is classic 80's rental copy with the clamshell case, and the redline around the cover design. Throw the tape in , and it starts with the old type blurry FBI warning, and copyright scroll. Then we get the Coming Attractions reel. We get previews of Lewis, Dead Weight, and Mediatrix. On to the film! It starts out with a man snorkeling in a pond (I'm going to assume it's supposed to be a swamp?). The man finds what appears to be an antique knife. Cut to credits, then to the same guy in a hot tub putting the mack down on a young lady. After a short bantering about wine, he sends her in to get a bottle of Merlot. "Ya got enough butter!?" "It's next to the cottage cheese, by the fuckin' clams!". Yeah. That was awesome. This is the point where we see Swamphead for the first time, as it's stalking the guy in the hot tub. We hear a branch snap! Dude in the tub jumps up and grabs a shotgun! Girl comes out and asks what's going on! She goes back inside! SWAMPHEAD!!  ...hehe. I won't ruin it for you. Cut to the main protagonist of the flick, Steve, riding his bike down the road. He meets up with Marty, who tells Steve that his neighbor was killed the night before! Steve and Marty ride off down the street, when they are stopped by Marty's brother Stone. Stone is a total douchebag to the guys. They continue riding down the road. Cut to the the forensics team. This scene has a great dialogue that I won't ruin for you, but it's hilarious! Steve and Marty are hiding in the bushes watching the events unfold. Steve sees the knife the hot tub guy found in the beginning, sticking out of the ground. He sneaks out and grabs it! Cut back to Steve's house. His mother tells him that Meghan called. Meghan is Steve's girlfriend with a retarded brother named Hahn. Hahn shits himself... a lot.  Steve and Marty are planning a camping trip with Meghan, Hahn, and her friend Nostalgia. As usual I'll stop here when the story get's good. As far as a story it is spot on. I totally enjoyed the practical special effects. The Swamphead was great as well as the death effects. Now this is a completely off-the-wall independent film, with an amazing imagination. Keep in mind that the acting is not going to be be Shakespeare, but I think this was done with great heart. Written and Directed by Dustin Drover and Justin Propp; edited by Derrick Carey, and starring Josh Harmen, Theodore Koepke, Andrea Smith, Damion Drover, Shaena Kulinski, Julie Edington, and Ken Rucks. I highly recommend this flick! If you want to purchase a copy of Swamphead just click the link below... NEXT TO THE FUCKIN'CLAMS!!